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B*TCHY BOPS FOR EVERY
BURN, BETRAYAL, AND BOLD ENTRANCE

A Witch's

B*TCHCRAFT🌙
Book Two Vibes

Ascension

“Big love, big aura. Big heart, big adorer."

It's camp. It's joy. It's like MARINA wrote this Spell of Transcendence just for us. She's shared in her interviews surrounding her latest album PRINCESS OF POWER what, to me, can only be surmised as a spiritual ascension of her own: a shift from externalizing love to internal heart-centeredness, followed by a season of solitude where an old life makes way for a new. MARINA, now independent of her label—like so many artists of our time—radiates freedom. Only the love remains.

Expect a major ascension in this next installment of B*TCHCRAFT🌙, too: a long-awaited reckoning, a steamy love scene of galactic proportions, and a game of power that ends with a bang. Plus, I could totally see Clark strutting down the rainbow-shimmering streets of Manhattan to this song, his aura la-la-la-litttt. 😉

"I livеd the sweet and I lived the sour
Been living lifе locked up in a tower
But now I'm blooming like a flower
Welcome to my world, princess of power.

Stuck in a loveless generation
Ready to go through a transformation
I'm gonna glow like a meteor shower
Welcome to my world, princess of power."

1. "PRINCESS OF POWER"
   MARINA

Do you've "got a taste of the glamorous life," too, like Clark in A Witch's Ascension🌙? Addison Rae makes hot b*tch bops we can all get behind, myself especially.

Addison would also make the perfect actress-singer Felicity, if this were ever adapted (I can't wait for you to finally meet her in Book Two)! Dream musicians for a soundtrack? Easily: Addison, Charli, RAYE, MARINA, Florence + the Machine, Cher, Elton, Gaga, Troye Sivan— the list goes go on and on.

2. "FAME IS A GUN"
   ADDISON RAE

"This love's possessin' me, but I don't mind at all."

For Book Two, A Witch's Ascension🌙, there was a third celebrity house call written: a popstar intertwined in the subplot about Felicity. The novel is already longer than Book One, and if I really fleshed the story out the way it could've been, it would easily be another 20k words.

Instead, they got the chop. Maybe I'll post it on the blog as a bonus chapter. A ~deleted scene~ if you will. Stay tuned!

Anyways, the popstar that sings Happy Birthday for Charisma in Book One, The Witch's Assistant🌙: I left that open-ended for you, dear reader, to fill in. Surely, a mega-star like Janet, Mariah, or J.Lo ("I don't know her!") would be a good client-friend for a queen witch like Charisma... Oo! Maybe even Cher: her beauty is so supernatural, there must have been a witch’s contract somewhere! Maybe it's Glinda the Good Witch herself, Ariana Grande. Would that be silly of me? (Isn't this all?!).

Which popstar was your pick? Leave them in a comment below!

3. "SUPERNATURAL (WITH TROYE SIVAN)"
   ARIANA GRANDE

The Witch's

B*TCHCRAFT🌙
Book One
Beats

Assistant

Diet Mountain Dew, baby, New York City

Never was there ever a girl so pretty

Do you think we'll be in love forever?

Do you think we'll be in love?

4. "DIET MOUNTAIN DEW"
   LANA DEL REY

"Baby, you're no good for me, but baby I want you, I want." Now, I might be a man of a certain age, but Lana’s chart-topping debut album, Born to Die—arguably her most New York record—was the soundtrack of my twenties (and the 2010s, really). Remember that copper hair? Like our little "infiltrator" Clark, she changed the game of the industry. B*TCHCRAFT🌙 vibes abound.

Today, well, I like to imagine Lana at home writing like me: velvet gloves donned, cigarette on a long filter (like Charisma might), being all idyllic and sh-...tuff :). Loving her man. Doing the laundry. Now, who wouldn't love that?

“Really wish I was a normal girl”—Yeah. That part. So do I, Scorpio sis, so do I. I bet Clark does, too.

When I’m home writing, I need silence. Or singing bowls and rain sounds. Zen vibes. I imagine Clark’s the same… unless he’s, you know, spiraling to Cigarettes After Sex or more Lana.

But to spare you the full spiral, "Normal Girl" is Clark at home in Astoria Blue.

5. "NORMAL GIRL"
   SZA

This is now an Addison Rae appreciation post. (Kidding... kinda!)

Cigarettes, stilettos, and a hunger for more:"High Fashion" is Clark’s anthem as he steps into Charisma’s world and meets the coven: glamorously unhinged, and always chasing the next high (or high heel).

6. "HIGH FASHION"
   ADDISON RAE

As promised, Joey was double-parked outside Clark’s building in a modest Honda Civic. He stood leaning on the passenger-side door, looking suave and debonair, with his dark hair slicked back and his Wayfarers on, dressed in shorts and a crisp, unbuttoned Henley. After hugging hello, Joey kissed him on the cheek before opening the door for Clark, who flushed a warm, conspicuous pink. — Chapter V, VIP

Yeahhh, Joey was definitely playing something swanky like this when Clark pulls up or on their drive east, puttin' on ~the moves~. Talk about Mr. Suavé! Hubba hubba. From their on-the-clock meet-cute bartender-cliché at Northlight to their Honda Civic chic first date, one thing's clear: Joey's in Clark's world now.

7. "SHE'S NOT THERE"
   THE ZOMBIES

“Tall and tan and young and lovely, the guy from Astoria goes walking, and..." - at least, that's how the lyrics should go, don't ya think?!

8. "THE GIRL FROM IPANEMA"
   AMY WINEHOUSE

Aw, young love. So precious! So innocent! Why are Clark and Joey both planless for Labor Day? Let’s just get lost in the butterflies!

"Diet Pepsi" is the perfect end-of-summer song to double-park to, eat Wendy's, and make out after a day of soul-baring and frolicking. Such sweet, sweet désolé! If only it were always that easy. 🦋

"Arrivederci, baby," Joey says. "See you soon," Clark replies—and he does. Truthfully, Joey never leaves.

9. "DIET PEPSI"
   ADDISON RAE

See previous post about Joey never leaving.

Clark’s out here fighting for his life in the coven while Joey’s making his way through a bag of candy in front of the TV before sunrise. No rest for the witches—or their boyfriends.

10. "GETTING NO SLEEP"
    TINASHE

Before there was Brat, there was Charli XCX's first album, True Romance. "What I Like" is about, to me, that easy kind of romance that's quick to comfortable, where you want to spend all your time together. Thematically, lyrically, I remember listening to this when I started dating my first live-in Joey. Can you relate? Tell me about your Joey in the comments below!

11. "WHAT I LIKE"
    CHARLI XCX

Last Addison track—I swear! “Love New York, feels so free it’s my religion.” This is Clark-the-coven's-runner on the go, but tell me this doesn’t scream Book Two and Clark’s ascension arc, too, when you get there.

12. "NEW YORK"
    ADDISON RAE

Me and this song? Inseparable a little over a decade ago, when I was a broke baby makeup artist daydreaming about writing this very series-and the coven of primadonnas Clark would find himself in... Funny how it’s having a resurgence now.

13. "PRIMADONNA"
    MARINA

"All you people look at me like I'm a little girl,
Well, did you ever think it'd be okay for me to step into this world?"

Or "boy"! This is it. This is the Halloween party entrance song to So Below, Charisma's nightclub—because no playlist would be complete without Britney, and that's a fact (don't argue with me or I'll have you fired, witch!). Of course, "I'm a slave for you" becomes even more on-the-nose as we learn about Felicity and her Faustian bargain with Charisma in Book Two, and how Clark "like Kent" Crane becomes embroiled in it all.

14. "I'M A SLAVE 4 U"
    BRITNEY SPEARS

You didn't actually think I'd leave this one out, did you? This is so the blackout underworld fever dream when Clark comes to, downstairs at So Below...and meets the enigmatic Mother.

15. "ABRACADABRA"
    LADY GAGA

You know that one scene at the end of The Witch's Assistant🌙? That high-flying moment near the end? Yeah, this feels like that moment. That's all.

16. "HOUDINI"
    DUA LIPA

Sacrifice and sovereignty: this has Charisma Saintly and the Tower written all over it. Fun fact: I worked with Halsey for SNL for this very song. It didn’t make the Book 2 section after all—too much of a jump from "Supernatural" by Ariana Grande, but it had to land here. Charisma always gets the last word.

17. "I AM NOT A WOMAN, I'M A GOD"
    HALSEY

That's what the American Dream promises us, doesn't it. Like Chapter XII, the last chapter, a happily ever after... Or is it? Ahhh, don't you just love a cliffhanger?

If there were end credits on Book One, this would be the track over them.

18. "BORN FREE"
    FRANK SINATRA

Your turn! What are your B*TCHCRAFT🌙 bops? Sound off in the comments below!

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A quirky, queer DEVIL WEARS PRADA fantasy — KIRKUS REVIEWS